Epilogue

And now everything turn to the last part. When I flip the page and what I found was the last page of the story. Can't call it as unfortunate because it's kind of happy ending. Not for me though.

I still dreaming about having a nice place to spend my life with wonderful place. Mountain right in front of my house, kind people around, lovely parents in law, and more. Yeah, it's so amazing. I wish I could live in there.

But, someone might have it. Someone who strugle for his life. Even still take care of his mother and his sister. Surprisingly, for his love he take any risk. That's what we called as totality.

I learn from it. From a story that I would never take a part of it. A puzzle of the history of my life. About effort, faith, and trust. Do it though it looks impossible. Allah Subhana Wata'ala never left behind. Man jadda, wa jadda. Rise and rise again and again until the lambs have become lions. I wrote it here, but he did it out there.

I'm not Ishmael 'Alaihissalam who easy accept the God provision. Also not Abram 'Alaihissalam who easily obey God commands. I need some time to take it. To face the truth that I have no single chance to change the fate. It's decided.

I have no single intention to pray the bad things happen. Otherwise I do pray the good things since I know that She love Him so much. And I can do nothing about it.

If I could write down here brad prasley lyric, so this is what really happen in my mind. "I wish you the best. And I wish you nothing less. That every thing you've ever dream of. And I hope that you find love along the way. But most of all, I wish you'd stay"

I will miss the day when I was your moodboster. The day that I can make you smile trough my silly side. And all the things that we share togeter and dreams of tommorow that never come. Surely I know it's life. Not a drama like AADC which is Rangga could have Cinta back on his side.

I'm sure you'll be perfect wife, awesome mother. So do your husband. Super dad, awesome husband, malvelous son, the best brother.

Madiun, September 12th 2016
With love ☺

Luas

Suar merah di tepi pantai. Memandang laut dan bukit dari tempatku berpijak. Suara ombak menyelaraskan irama metafora. Dalam awang-awang impian yang pernah ada.

Diam memandang. Jauh... Ke arah selatan. Samudera hindia yang luas. Dengan warna yang khas beratapkan awan-awan jelita. Birunya langit berganti menjadi hitamnya mega yang melahap cahaya.

Wahai kau pria yang sedang dilarung duka. Ilmu apa yang kaupunya hingga kau bisa meralat lara. Memasang senyum dalam hati yang terluka. Tapi tetap tegar laksana karang yang ditempa.

Tetaplah tegar dalam sepimu. Tetaplah kuat dalam hidupmu. Kau tahu perihmu tak kan terkira. Namun ku yakin hatimu lebih tangguh dari sekedar baja namun tetap berkilau bak permata.

Pacitan, 10 September 2016

Ijinkanku untuk...

Membencimu apalagi sampai dendam, bukan hal yang benar menurutku. Terlebih dua hal itu sangat menguras energi. Untungnya aku cukup memiliki rasa humor. Buatku apa yang kau lakukan tak lebih dari sekedar hiburan semata bagiku. Dan yang baru saja kau lakukan, membuktikan bahwa dirimu cukup kocak. Setidaknya dalam perspektifku. Hahahaa... terima kasih untuk senyum hari ini. Aku sangat bersyukur. Tetaplah sehat, dan jadilah lebih baik dari masa ke masa.